I read other blogs and feel so inspired to write something inspirational or clever or creative… and I got nothin’. Hah.
I’m not very clever, or inspirational, or even creative. I wish things in my life were so great – or I had some amazing spiritual revelation to speak of, but I don’t. I'm not saying poor me my life is horrible... It's just that I’m learning lessons on the basics. Nothing spectacular.
Since my last post I’ve had some major events transpire in my life. Some good, some not so good, and even some amazingly great! I got a job… and it was literally handed to me by God Himself. The timing and people and events were perfect… I prayed He would make it clear where I was supposed to be, and He did! So, now that I have a job I look back on the months that I didn’t. I was so worried. I see how much I didn’t trust God. I may have verbally said that I was trusting Him, but in my heart were constant thoughts of anxiety and discontentment. I wasn’t happy. I was stressed! I don’t know how to not have a plan!?! “How do You expect me not to have a plan, God?!?” All the while, His still small voice was encouraging me to just wait.
See, I’m not a patient person. I don’t like the wait answer… in fact, I’d almost rather be told no, than to be told to wait. I like immediate results... I like to make hasty decisions and see how things play out.
It’s funny to feel content now, and not worried about my job situation. I sort of laugh at the me of a month ago. How could I not trust God? How could I not believe HE had a plan for me?!?
How could I doubt Him?!? Silly Morgan.
I couldn’t quite figure out why the end of my college career was such a life altering event. Graduation was the goal, yes; and I achieved it… it came… and then it went… Why was that so traumatic? And only recently I had the ‘Aha!’ moment. I was putting my worth in my grades and my collegiate experience. And when it was over I had a little midlife (or early-life) crisis. It’s like a rug was yanked out from under me.
HELLO!!! It was just a phase! Granted it was a great phase, for sure. But I was never meant to live there… in that state… The state of being a college student!
I was meant to finish and MOVE ON. I wasn’t meant to find my spouse at school and I wasn’t meant to stay in Tampa and live there forever (like I thought). It was GOD’S PLAN for me to move back home and find a job on an Oncology Unit that I think I may just hate. It was His plan that I begin to mend and fix relationships that I’ve damaged in the past, since I'm back in Ocala anyway. It was His great plan that I rediscover just how great His thoughts and plans are for me. His plan was that I learn that His love for me is like none other and that He alone can satisfy my heart.
How could I ever doubt Him… Silly Morgan.
I’m not very clever, or inspirational, or even creative. I wish things in my life were so great – or I had some amazing spiritual revelation to speak of, but I don’t. I'm not saying poor me my life is horrible... It's just that I’m learning lessons on the basics. Nothing spectacular.
Since my last post I’ve had some major events transpire in my life. Some good, some not so good, and even some amazingly great! I got a job… and it was literally handed to me by God Himself. The timing and people and events were perfect… I prayed He would make it clear where I was supposed to be, and He did! So, now that I have a job I look back on the months that I didn’t. I was so worried. I see how much I didn’t trust God. I may have verbally said that I was trusting Him, but in my heart were constant thoughts of anxiety and discontentment. I wasn’t happy. I was stressed! I don’t know how to not have a plan!?! “How do You expect me not to have a plan, God?!?” All the while, His still small voice was encouraging me to just wait.
See, I’m not a patient person. I don’t like the wait answer… in fact, I’d almost rather be told no, than to be told to wait. I like immediate results... I like to make hasty decisions and see how things play out.
It’s funny to feel content now, and not worried about my job situation. I sort of laugh at the me of a month ago. How could I not trust God? How could I not believe HE had a plan for me?!?
How could I doubt Him?!? Silly Morgan.
I couldn’t quite figure out why the end of my college career was such a life altering event. Graduation was the goal, yes; and I achieved it… it came… and then it went… Why was that so traumatic? And only recently I had the ‘Aha!’ moment. I was putting my worth in my grades and my collegiate experience. And when it was over I had a little midlife (or early-life) crisis. It’s like a rug was yanked out from under me.
HELLO!!! It was just a phase! Granted it was a great phase, for sure. But I was never meant to live there… in that state… The state of being a college student!
I was meant to finish and MOVE ON. I wasn’t meant to find my spouse at school and I wasn’t meant to stay in Tampa and live there forever (like I thought). It was GOD’S PLAN for me to move back home and find a job on an Oncology Unit that I think I may just hate. It was His plan that I begin to mend and fix relationships that I’ve damaged in the past, since I'm back in Ocala anyway. It was His great plan that I rediscover just how great His thoughts and plans are for me. His plan was that I learn that His love for me is like none other and that He alone can satisfy my heart.
How could I ever doubt Him… Silly Morgan.
