You deliver me...

Music. I love music. I love listening to music. I love playing music. I love singing to music. I love dancing to music. I feel pretty confident saying it plays a huge part of my life. So, it's not hard to see how different songs or music could be so integrated into my memories that I hear a song on the radio, and it will remind me of a specific event or person. Whenever I hear Chicken Fried, I think of Caroline. It was her ringtone freshman year, and I HATED it! Or when I hear 7 Things by Miley Cyrus, I think of my roommate Chelsea (she introduced me to my love for Miley!). And every year of college has developed a kind of "theme song" too. Freshman year it was 'I Have a Shelter' by Sovereign Grace Music. I took comfort in knowing that God was my shelter through the rough spots that year.

'You Deliver Me' has earned the title this year. Time has flown by this semester. It's already been ten weeks and I only have 5 left before I start my last semester in college. Wow! Can't believe it. But in the last ten weeks a lot has happened. I've learned a lot of hard lessons. I've hurt. I've cried. I've been stressed beyond belief. And at my lowest points I was constantly reminded that, not only did God deliver me, but God delivers me. The road seemed to loom ahead at times: He delivers me. When I think I can't go on anymore: He delivers me.

Today I had a break from my busy schedule and had the whole day to myself. I took a nap after work and decided it was time to tackle my room (not literally of course ;). People don't believe me when I say I'm a clean person (namely my roommates), but I love having a clean room - and I will spend hours accomplishing that task. However, other things have needed my attention recently. I hadn't done laundry in 3 weeks (you can imagine the floor). I hadn't cleaned my sink in about the same amount of time (toothpaste was the new décor). And my desk needed major attention. You get the idea. And you know what? I didn't want to spend any time in my room. I wanted to be other places, doing other things because I couldn't stand the mess. My mom's voice popped in my head: "If you'd clean as you go, you wouldn't be in this mess, Morgan." And I thought: how applicable that is to my walk with Christ.

I would say I desire to have a good relationship with Him, a consistent walk with Him, but other things get in the way… other things 'require my attention.' Just like I want a clean room - I want a clean life. But I don't always want to sacrifice and do the work. And so, instead of disciplining myself (and cleaning my room), I leave sin in my life to fester. It gets worse and worse, and eventually I ignore it all together. Do we need to do major cleanings in our lives (like I did with my room today)? Absolutely. But there is also maintenance work that must be done, to keep things headed in the right direction. And hopefully the major life-cleanings happen less and less often. Life with Christ is meant to be lived daily! I shouldn't wait until everything is spinning so out of control that I cry out for help… or stop and spend the entire day cleaning. Baby steps. Taking what I know and obeying.

I know that my circumstances aren't changing. I still have a 20 hour semester. I still have two 12-hour clinicals every week. I still have to go to work. I still have to go to the gym. I still have to cook and clean and play the guitar on Sundays. And even though these things can sometimes be painful, and even though I still have tears: I still have to do the work. I have to work through the tears.

I also realize that my trials may seem trivial compared to what other people are going through, but thank goodness God doesn't see them/me that way. "Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden..." I've been feeling weary lately.

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. " Psalm 126: 5-6