I go through phases. Different moods. Sometimes I'm willing to write down my ever so secret thoughts on the internet - and other times? I just want to ponder... I want to ponder what God's doing in my heart and ponder the trials that I'm facing. Ever since being home from China - I've been doing the latter.

China was by far the most purposeful and challenging thing I have done in a long time. All the preparation that was done on the front side of the trip in no way compared to the challenges that lay in wait on the other side of the world. I was faced with situations that challenged me mentally and physically. I was challenged to re-think so many of my own beliefs I held so dear. Now, I don't mean this to sound like I came home from China questioning my faith in God. Not at all! Specifically, I came home questioning how we, as the church, do things. How we evangelize. How we "worship". How we act, how we...

Because I realized while over there that most, if not all, of our "churchly practices" are based solely on our culture. And if the Chinese church does things differently than the American churches - who's right? I am so thankful God pointed out my unknown-to-me legalistic attitude. I didn't think China was going to show me that... weird.

Reflection over the past month has been really good for me. I struggle with what my purpose may be now that I'm home from China... home from college. I can't be a bum and live at home forever. I'm convinced God has great things for me, I just don't know what they are yet... and sometimes... I'm a little scared to ask.

China changed my life. But not in the way most people think. I don't want to move there. And really, I don't know if I'll ever go back as long as I live. But it challenged me to look to eternity. It challenged me to take every thought and moment captive to Christ... and gave me a real-life glimpse of what that practically looks like. It gave me a humbling and beautiful picture of what it means to serve... and to be served. It also showed me just how big God really is. He is so big. He's bigger than I ever thought or could've imagined. Not even the communist government of China can keep God out. (And believe me, they're trying!) He is moving... And we, as His church, get to participate in building His kingdom.

Maybe you're supposed to go to China... or Africa... or Ukraine... or across the street... Where is God calling you to go?

Battle Flu vs. Morgan

I'm one of those people (partially due to my nursely nature) that thinks whenever they get sick they are going to die. This time was no different and to make things worse I was a 14.5 hr flight away from the States. Oi.

I woke up Thursday with a sore throat and didn't make it through the entire day of camp. I went home after lunch and slept 6 hrs straight. I thought maybe I was just tired and my "nap" (most people consider that a nights sleep) had cured me... so I decided to hang tough and go to camp on Friday. I was NOT going to miss out on saying goodbye to my little kids! But, you better believe I woke up with a 102 fever Saturday morning and all the other flu symptoms to match. I'll spare you the details. I pretty much slept until Monday morning but was completely back to 100% Monday morning. I think it was grace that got me through Friday... and a good measure of strong will. In total 3.5 days down... not too bad. But, oh my! I was missing home. I told my daddy he needed to fly to Beijing and get me. He probably would have. :) Miss him.
This week's camp is so vastly different from last week. Last week the focus was on just getting the kids to behave so we could semi teach them anything! This week the kids know every grammar rule possible... on paper. But they can barely communicate with us, which makes sense. The Chinese are great at book work. Unfortunately, our curriculum is geared primarly toward the grammar rules and vocab. So, coming up with changes on the fly is the new norm. :) It's all about being Semper Gumby (always flexible). I'm learning that. I like the flexible version of myself.
I am truly having the best week. Joy. It's the only way I can describe it. That and a good measure of sleep! There's no more jet-lag and some newly found American food. It's wonderful.
I don't really have the freedom to write everything that's going on, but you can bet I'll be sharing stories once I'm home.
My cup truly runneth over.

Some things are universal

Like smiles, or ‘Simon Says’, or ‘Head and Shoulders, knees and toes’ or maybe a hello even, or just a high five. Some things span across borders and across oceans… things like goodbyes.

Today was our last day of the first camp. Just like a VBS in the states, the kids have a little performance for their parents on Friday night. VLS in China is no different and so we spent 13 hours with the kids today. It was… a ferociously long time. At the beginning of the week the kids are very shy and don’t test you at all. By the end of the week, when they’re comfortable, they realize that we aren’t like their Chinese teachers… we won’t beat them if they misbehave, and so they do… the entire day. But really, they’re just like American children. The boys beat on things with their chopsticks. And the girls stick their tongues out when they don’t like your corrections. Haha. Andy kept pulling my hair and spitting water on me today. By 4 o’clock (when the camp normally ends) I was thinking goodbye couldn’t come soon enough!

The American team met in our room for dinner and had a little meeting before going back to the chapel for the final closing ceremony. The place was packed! Honestly, it was packed with just the kids in it; then try adding all their parents and grandparents... packed! But somehow we all fit.

The entire event had to be translated, so it took twice as long as it would. Anything said in Chinese needed to be translated to English, and everything said in English needed to be said in Chinese. It was cool to hear some of our children’s testimonies in English, and then the interpreters translating it back into Chinese for their parents. :) Loved that.

Each group (blue, red, green, gold) performed a song. It gave me goose-bumps to hear these Chinese children singing praises to God. They sang “It Is Well” and “Blessed Assurance”… Wait?!? Are we still in China?? “My sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more! Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul!” Are we really in China? They asked the American team to sing too… “You are holy! Great and mighty! The moon and the stars – declare who You are!” We’re in China, right!? I truly felt His presence.

The service ended and gifts were given. At first it was a very exciting thing – the week was over! We had accomplished what we set out to do… then Snow came up to me, tears running down her face as she hugged me and buried her face in my shirt. And then Tony… Happy, An-Li, Amy, Gloria… I didn’t know until that very moment that maybe I had touched one of their lives. The entire week Sandy and I had stressed about how well we were communicating (English or otherwise) and it wasn’t clear until that moment. I only spent 5 short days with these kids, how could this be so hard? But, I know it was because of the reason we were brought here together. Months and months were spent on our knees, asking for hearts to be drawn. It was only tonight, that I got to put faces with my requests. I know seeds were planted this week. I know they saw Him. He was the reason we were brought together… and He’ll be the reason we meet again.

You see, goodbyes are universal…

But soon there will be a day when no more goodbyes are said… and maybe I’ll see An-Li and Snow again and together we’ll sing: “You are holy! Great and Mighty!”

french food for dinner!

Ok, so I'm in China.

It's crazy to think that a week ago we arrived in Beijing. It feels like I've been here forEVER.

Tomorrow is our last day of camp and I know it's going to be very sad. As a 'worker' you want to see immediate fruit, but here, we're more or less introducing G, which means the fruit of our labor will probably not be seen by us... and maybe we'll never know what happens to the message we're presenting. It's sad to know I won't see most of the kids ever again. They've become my buddies. And just as we're getting to know each other it's time to leave. :(

Tonight was the acrobat show and it totally lived up to it's reputation. My favorite was a girl standing on point on some man's head. She looked so young! Sure enough... she was 12. So sad.

I've been feeling under the weather for the past couple days and at the moment have no voice. It's probably from participating in my initiation: ABC gum. One piece of gum from the front of the bus is passed between each passenger and then back to the front... it ended up being grey with like 30 pieces of gum together. And Mr. Vince chewed it and blew a bubble! The gum tasted super good though... like a peppermint flavor with a hint of mango. Hahaha. It was peer pressure! Don't ask why I did it.

Back in the states I love chinese food. It's my favorite! I have yet to eat a meal here that I like. All this authentic stuff is yuck. Seriously, it's not good. Tonight Mike, Mom, Stuart and I settled for 711 food... I got a croissant and a diet coke. And I think my mom and stuart had pringles. It was a great dinner really! I loved it.

I'm getting pretty homesick... I think part of it is being sick and the other part not really liking it here. I mean, I LOVE the kids, and I truly believe in what we're doing... and I'm committed. But really, I miss home. And we have 2 more weeks! Oi.

PR:

1)EVERYONE is getting sick. Some have stomach bugs others of us have cold-like symptoms.

2)Tomorrow is our last day of camp and the kids will be performing for their parents... and singing songs about C. It's going to be amazing. P for receptive hearts

3)Preparation for next week: We have the older kids, which will be an entirely different camp... it will be like the first day all over again.

4) homesickness of all of us.

Love you all.
Morg

Katy Perry and the death cab

You know those days that are both the worst and best days? The days that start out horribly and then something happens, something shifts your perspective and things instantly get better?

That was today.

Today was the first day of VLS. This week we are teaching the younger of the students - the oldest being 12, I believe. I have an intermediate group, but still their actual levels of ability vary greatly. There is a huge stigma placed upon older students being put with younger students in hopes of helping them learn - they want to be with their friends and we don't want to cause them shame so they stay. Having to create and teach one lesson is hard enough - and then having to curtail it to each individual student is just VERY time consuming. So today was... challenging.

On top of the difficulties with the students, the curriculum is also... well, somewhat unorganized. In defense of the author, this is the original curriculum that had to be submitted to the Chinese government for approval. So, I'm unsure what parameters were in place at that time. We found out that we can change some of the activities to better suit the students and the grammar rules we are learning in hopes that tomorrow goes better than today! Onward and upward! :) Better tomorrow than today; better today than yesterday!

Another component of difficulty is speaking through translators that aren't super familiar with English themselves. It's just all-around challenging. So, you can imagine many of us were feeling very discouraged. I pretty much decided I wanted to come home today. Hah.

Then the smog lifted.

I went back to the Silk Market with David and Jessica to exchange shirts we needed for the camp. The taxi ride there took forever and we couldn't buckle up! There we were, on the interstate, and couldn't even wear seatbelts. Yikes! It was a death cab!

Exchanging the shirts ended up being yet another challenge for the day. It took 2 hours to get the order straightened out and waiting for some of the needed shirts to arrive from the warehouse. We waited in the booth with Jessica. She spoke very good English and was so sweet. I also met the girl across the way - Delia. She and I were the same age. These girls work 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and only get 2-3 days off a year. They are so hard-working.

It was there, in the silk market, I truly realized G's reason for sending me to China. And I only hope He continues to reveal more things about Himself. The greatness of His mercy. His unending kindness. His jealousy for His people. His desire to redeem each of us and fill us with His peace.

It was a bad day... but it really was the best day.

PR:

1) the emotional/physical well-being of our team. Several teammates are having issues.

2) That even though we desire to teach English, that is only the umbrella under which we enter the country. Our purpose is far greater. P our focus is not shifted from that.

3) Rest. Today was challenging and the rest of the week promises the same.

-Morg

P.S. They play Katy Perry in china! *Happiness*

First Thoughts:

“Foggy”. Warm. Humid. A smell in the air of unidentifiable origin. A sea of faces. Hospitality. Kind greetings. Fashion similar to Europe. Crazy traffic… crazier drivers. Chopsticks. Bottled water ONLY. The smell of food in the air constantly. Starbucks :). Skyscrapers. Little green. Few patches of grass. Weird stares from the locals. NICE cars (everyone drives a BMW, Mercedes, or Audi). 4.5 million cars in Beijing. Bei: North. Jing: Capital. No clouds. No sun. No moon. No stars. Delicious food within the hotel. Interesting food outside. A great wall. No dogs or cats. No fb or blogger (for those without amazing apps ;). Weddings at the Crowne Plaza. A small world. A summit buddy. Kiosks inside restaurants and hotels. Jetlag. 4am mornings. Long runs in the fantastic gym. Sushi for breakfast. High heels. Love for people you just met. Different tongues prazing the same g. New friends. A chinese mom. :)

I love China!

Internet connections!

Yay! Finally a connection to Blogger! Fb and blogger aren't accessible here, but after downloading a hotspot shield, and consulting with my tech support here in Beijing, I can finally log on!

We're all having a great time and enjoying our trip so far. We've done the touristy things: The Great Wall and The Silk Market. Both were fun! I'll write more about those later and maybe post a few pictures! And we've also done plenty of team bonding and planning for the busy week ahead.

The jet-lag is pretty miserable. Try telling your body it's 12 hours later than it really is... it's a gross feeling. I woke up at 5am yesterday and 4am today. It's ridiculous! And by the time we get used to it it'll be time to come back home and get readjusted again!

There's been so much anticipation for this trip; I'm glad to finally be here! And all the stories I've heard about the people and the town - it's nice to put faces to names and see things that I've only heard about. *Cool fact: The Bird's Nest from the 2008 Olympics is across the street from our hotel. :)

I've learned a few Chinese words, but so far it's pretty hard to have ANY CLUE what they're talking about. Our translators have been great! And I'm sure they will come in even more handy as we get into camp mode!

Please continue to 'p' for cohesiveness as a team, better adjustment to the time so we can get the rest we need, and for zero nerves. :)

-Morg